| 1. Let's be honest from the get go, what would your first reaction be if you walked into a chinese restaurant and the first thing you hear is a meow that is almost cry like, do you sit down anyway or do you leave before you ever sit? |
i wouldn't care |
| 2. Do you think that it is at all possible that Tupac, Big Poppa, Elvis, John Lennon and the rest of the people who come out with brand new albums decades after they die are on some island like on the tv show Lost being used as human experiments? Just think about if it is possible. |
no |
| 3. How many times have you sat around a family dinner on the holidays and thought to yourself that there had to be some way that you were switched at birth or adopted and were never told? |
i've thought that countless times |
| 4. Did you ever really sit down and consider how much fun it would be to be locked in a grocery store for 48 hours? What would you do to pass the time if everything was available to you? |
I'd get very bored. full of food, but bored |
| 5. Do you ever wonder how the analogy there are plenty of fish in the sea has any connection to the available male species and how someone came up with fish to describe men? |
well, they have about the same size attention-span. and are about as reliable. but they can be hard to catch |
| 6. Does it ever annoy you when you buy the Hot chocolate with mini marshmellows and as soon as you pour the boiling water over it the marshmellows have already disintegrated? |
yes |
| 7. Do you ever wonder how in the world you could have listened to Tiffany and Debbie Gibson and actually liked their music? Do you still like it? |
who the f are they |
| 8. Do you think the cereal people have to count out every morsel of cereal in order to get the same exact amount in every single box or do you think they wing it and just throw measuring cups full into the boxes and then ship them off? |
oh come on, you should know that they do it by weight and just fill it till then |
| 9. Do you and your partner ever role play? If so, what are some of the characters you dress up as and if not, is it because you are shy or are you actually just really that boring? |
no. and its because... we aren't effing NERDS. and dont have to resort to playing d&d just to have sex |
| 10. Do you believe in the saying once a cheater always a cheater or do you think a cheater can learn their lesson and never do it again? |
they can learn. not all do though. for example of this see: ZEV |
| 11. What is your opinion if the cheaters partner decides to get her revenge by cheating right back as an in your face, two can play that game deal. Is the revenge cheater justified or is it still the wrong thing to do? |
if the original cheater isn't sorry for hurting their partner, then the partner is justified |
| 12. If your partner suffered a tragic accident and the only thing keeping them alive was a machine, how long do you think it would take for you to pull the plug? |
it would be up to them to pull the plug on themselves, |
| 13. Can you imagine being happy in a perfect world or do you think the constant element of surprise needed in order to keep people happily entertained? |
we would need surprise. this doesn't mean there has to be bad surprises... just interesting ones |
| 14. Do you think that Rainbow Brite might have been a lesbian considering she wore a full rainbow? |
no. i like rainbow. did she make out/date other girls? I dont |
| 15. Did you or anyone you know have a crush on any of the teenage mutant ninja turtles and if so which one? Also, are you thinking about pizza right now? |
no, and yes |
| 16. If your best friend told you tomorrow that she was leaving to join the convent, would you take her seriously? |
no. most of my friends are very impulsive anyways, and dont follow through with anything. nothing wrong with it its just how they are |
| 17. Do you really believe that laughter is the best medicine? If so, can we just laugh and do away with the apples a day since the laughing is already self medicating? |
no thats false |
| 18. Do you believe that there is a time and place for everything? If that is the case, do you think people who are constantly running half an hour behind on time or more screw up everyone else's time and place? |
i think people making them run behind on time (like slow drivers) are screwed up |
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| 19. If the man of your dreams suddenly appeared before you in real life exactly as you had expected... until he opened his mouth and then you heard the worst speech impedement that you have ever heard, are you okay with that or is the dream now a nightmare? |
no, he wouldnt be my dream, he'd be a fake |
| 20. Do you think that Strawberry Shortcake and all of her muffinish friends ever sat around licking eachother to see what they tasted and smelled like? |
yes |
| 21. Would you ever consider leaving your Christmas tree up all year round and changing it's name to a holiday tree and then decorate it according to the month. Don't you think that is an incredible idea that I thought of all by myself. |
yes, except that all christmas trees will shrivel up and die, yes, even yours. you will have to make sure it is never severed from its place in the earth to follow through with your grand idea |
| 22. If I just happen to enjoy wearing helmets and harnasses, do you think the special children who have no choice but to wear them would think I was making fun of them even though I wasn't? |
I'd hope not, atleast they should have the balls to ask you, or get their parents to |
| 23. Do you think you might actually lose your mind if you were locked in a sanitarium with loonies bobbing back and forth and sewing fake blanket? Would you volunteer to be the subject in an experiment that was trying to test to see how long your environment actually begins to effect your brain. |
i would never take part in that |
| 24. Do you think you know enough about surgery from watching all of the medical dramas on tv that there is any procedure you might actually be able to do? If so, which one. |
no |
| 25. When you were younger and used to dream about what your life would be like when you grew up, does your life have anything in common as the one you dreamt of once? |
no. i was either a princess, or a detective, so no. none of my dreams were realistic by adult standards |
| 26. If you are at someone's house and you are grabbing a snack and realize whatever you were reaching for is the last one in the box, do you still take it or do you think it is more polite to leave it for the people who live there? |
i probably leave it |
| 27. Have you ever been babysitting when the phone rang and it was a stranger calling? |
i dont answer the phone |
| 28. Would you ever marry someone in need of their green card to help them stay in the country if they were going to pay you One hundred thousand dollars for doing so? |
no. or if i did, it would have to be an open marraige AND they'd have to be hot |
| 29. Can you think of anyone you know who is a grown man yet acts and looks like a child and has to rely on his parents to pay his bills because he is not reliable enough to hold onto a job? |
yes. pretty much all of them |
| 30. Would you agree with me when I say anyone matching that description has succeeded at becoming a loser and not much else? |
duh, captain obvious |
| 31. As much as you may like them and enjoy the entertainment value, please say you agree with me that soap opera actors and actresses are the worst believable actors on television today. |
they aren't the worst, but they are pretty bad |
| 32. Do you think that those people who go on American Idol can seriously not know how bad they sound or do you think they honestly think they are good enough to make it? |
i can't say for them |
| 33. Does Rosie O'donnell annoy you as much as she annoys me with the constant drama that she has to be smack in the center of? |
yes |
| 34. I believe that the one person that everyone in the world has to love is Ellen Degeneres. Do you tend to agree or disagree with that statement. |
the the **** is that |
| 35. If your best friend is going to have a baby and asks you to be in the delivery room with her are you woman enough to stand in between her legs and actually watch the baby come out or are you the scaredy cat who will stand up by her head and scream push as you desire? |
i wont want to be between her legs dealing with a bloody infant |
| 36. Have you ever seen a newborn baby and actually been afraid because it was that ugly? Did you feel bad immediately for thinking that or did you laugh a little and then feel bad? |
they are ALL freakishly ugly. that's one reason out of thousands why i hate them so much |
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| 37. Do you think that two really unattractive people have a chance at having good looking children or do you think those odds are too stacked against them in the gene pool? |
no, they dont have the genes, and they shouldn't reproduce and dirty up the race with uglyness |
| 38. Do you think that Mr.Rogers ever got sick of always changing his sweater and switching his shoes? |
no he surely had ocd |
| 39. Do you think that Bert and Ernie are really homosexuals and is your opinion based on anything other than the fact that they take baths together with rubber ducky? |
who knows. i dont remember them taking baths together |
| 40. Did you ever suddenly realize that you just had an entire 2 sided conversation with yourself and suddenly feel a little afraid for your mental state? |
i actually didn't, i'm sorry that you did |
| 41. When you were little did you think you were really funny when you used to draw faces on the girls in magazines? |
i still think its funny |
| 42. How old were you when you first became aware of your pubic hair and how did you react? |
i liked it as it was growing, then hated it once it was permanently there |
| 43. Did you ever go through a stage where you thought it was sexy to let your bra straps hang out of your shirt and half your ass hang out of your pants so everyone including the grandparents can be fully aware that you have a thong on? Do you think you are desiring that negative attention for any specific reason or do you feel that what you do is normal behavior? |
nope, i was never a snatchpoo peice of **** like that, thank god |
| 44. Have you ever called someone a slut or a whore without even knowing what either of the words meaan? |
i knew their meanings before i ever used them |
| 45. Do you have one of those friends in your circle who is constantly trying to one up everyone else and tells so many stories you think of changing her name to the girl who cried wolf? |
that was brandie |
| 46. Why do you think ET likes Reeses Pieces as much as he does? |
they're colourful |
| 47. Do you believe that you are going to be able to one day drive a car that flies and ride a hover board through the sky? |
i'd **** ing love it |
| 48. Have you ever wondered why Smurfette was the one and only female smurf and exactly what was her relationship with Papa Smurf? |
i dont know, i never liked that show much |
| 49. Do you think it is possible to love chocolate as much as Forrest Gump or do you think he pretty much takes the award for that? |
i love it just as much |
| 50. Do little people scare you at all? Could you see yourself dating a little person at any time in your life? |
they are scary after they dip below 4'something |
| 51. Do you think you would be able to accurately describe your deepest sexual desire to your partner without getting shy or would you clam up a little bit? |
i could. my desire is pretty calm. and very man-oriented ie pleasure for him |
| 52. Have you literally ever played strip coed twister alone or with a group? |
no |
| 53. How do you think you might react if you found out the one that you love had been with someone of the same sex? |
I'd be quite interested in it |
| 54. Do you think a man can dress as a woman for Halloween in full drag and not have his sexuality questioned by at least one person? |
ignorant people, of course, will question |
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| 55. Have you ever imagined your life as a movie? Would it be entertaining or would it be one of the ones you walk out on in the middle? |
it would be sortof depressing and going nowhere |
| 56. What is it about altoids that makes them so curiously strong? |
they have sperm in them |
| 57. What is the one item in your posession that has been with you through it all? |
my robots. they're damn old, probably oldest posession i have |
| 58. Can you still recite any of the lyrics to a New Kids song and if so, please share with the group. |
nope |
| 59. Does anyone really know where in the world Carmen San Diego is? |
she's with bin laden in that cave |
| 60. Do you think there is a chance that Waldo and Carmen might one day be found together? |
probably |
| 61. Do you agree with me on my thoughts that the government and political figures hide more things than reveal them? |
of course, its a given |
| 62. Do you think everything is a conspiracy theory and no one can or should be trusted? |
yes |
| 63. When life gets you down and you feel you can't go on, who is the one person or what is the only thing that can push you through? |
my future, and survival insticts |
| 64. Do you know the meaning of life? |
yes |
| 65. Do you have a theory? |
it involves love, and knowledge |
| 66. Do you think dead people can see what we are doing even when we are doing naughty things? |
i dont know about the naughty things, maybe |
| 67. Don't you think all of those Dalmation puppies should have played the puppies of the tramp dog in lady and the tramp so that kids would know what a tramp is exactly? |
yes |
| 68. Be honest now, don't you think Snow White had those dwarves performing special tasks under that big skirt of hers? Something made Grumpy a lot less Grumpy towards the end of that movie and something tells me it wasn't the singing birds. |
hah. |
| 69. Why do you think that Old King Cole was a merry old soul? He has some maidens you know.Do you think they were possibly undercover sex slaves living in fairytale land? |
yes |
| 70. Did you ever want to be a sanitation worker just to get the chance to ride on the back of the garbage truck? |
hell no |
| 71. Have you ever thought about entering a field where the majority is made up of men for that exact reason? Do you think that is a move of desperation or no? |
no |
| 72. Have you ever thought you had a desire to have sex in the frozen food section or the produce section and if so wehat specifically turns you on about that scenario? |
absolutely not |
| 73. Is it hard to believe that one day your kids will feel the same way about todays music as you do about your parents? |
i love my parents music. |
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