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"From the mind of a forty year old father!" was made by jalan39.

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1. How many times do you have to kick the dog before it bites you? aint got 1
2. How many times do you have to be told not to get up early and clean your room? approximately 78 times
3. What do you say when your mother asks if you kissed your date tonight? nah just gave him a ham shank, nuffin major
4. Why is your father the coolest person on the planet? coz he cant dance, walks like a duck an is my own personal taxi
5. Do you remember the first time you ate Guacamole dip? 5 seconds ago
6. How many licks does it take to make Fred lick you back? oh fred licks me 1st darling
7. Does a chicken ever walk into a bar? occasionally, mean drunks they r
8. What is the number one quality in a women you would choose for your father? a brilliant dancer, maybe it will rub off on him
9. Does a nickle times a quarter minus a penny plus an egg equal a duck? nope it equals jamaica
10. Who is your Hero? spiderman
11. Why do children drive parents crazy? well u gota do sumfin while the commercials r on
12. When yelling daddy I want a bottle, what are you really saying? dad go get me my vodka now!
13. What's better than winning a hotdog eating contest? not bein retarded
14. What is your favorite cartoon? family guy
15. How many times do I have to say NO? just until u give in
16. How many times do I have to say yes? just once
17. If the sky were green and the clouds were purple what color would the ocean be? pink
18. If Star Wars was never made what would be your favorite movie? dont ever say that!!!!
19. Do you think mommy would let me get you a cell phone? since wen does it matter wot she sez?
20. How many more years do I have to live to see my children grow up? just until u get enough money 2 leave me loads in ur will
21. How do you feel sitting on the toilet? amazing
22. What do you think about while your brushing your teeth? baby elephants
23. Do you sing in the shower? nah singin in the shower is overrated, shower break dancin is the new fing
24. How old do you have to be to work at Surf's Up? 82
25. Are you crazy? sure am
26. What do you eat at the beach? sand wiches! get it? sand? ok nevermind
27. Why would anyone want to live in Florida? u know ive asked myself that question so many times n still havnt got an answer
28. Do you like cats or dogs? dogs, theyre less gristly
29. Do you think your parents are nuts? yup cashew nuts the both of them
30. Who is on the back of the bus from Mexico? my uncle pedro
31. Do you love your Daddy?(There is only one answer if your my children) which 1?
32. If you were falling from the top of a building what do you think would be going through your mind? wow look at that spicey walrus
33. What happens when we die? aparently we **** ourselves
34. Where's Waldo? playing golf wid sarah jessica parker
35. What ever happened to that bologna sandwich you were saving for later? it grew legs n ran out the front door
36. When will hell freeze over? my sources tell me the yr 2009
37. Why don't childer clean thier rooms? coz it makes hide n seek that much more fun
38. If I asked you to cut the grass,clean your room, take out the garbage,wash the dishes,set the table,do your homework,run the vacuum,and clean the bathroom, what would you say? wot did ur last slave die of?
39. What would I say? not doin wot they were told
40. Can I have a cookie? sure u can, go nuts
41. What is for dinner? wotever u can shove in the microwave
42. How much of your day did it take to fill out this stupid survey? 17 hrs
43. Can I get a puppy? no! ive asked u for a puppy for ages n u sed no
44. Why don't you listen? coz ur borin
45. Where do you think you'll be in ten years? in bangladesh teaching cindi louper how 2 play the trumpet
46. What is you favorite tv show? any show wid pigs
47. Can you please do your laundry? erm nope
48. Where would you like to live in the world? germany or china, im not picky
49. What do you want for your birthday? a puppy!!!!!
50. Do you want fries with that? nah the puppy will do