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"From the mind of a forty year old father!" was made by jalan39.

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1. How many times do you have to kick the dog before it bites you? I don't kick my dog. Awww.
2. How many times do you have to be told not to get up early and clean your room? Never. :p
3. What do you say when your mother asks if you kissed your date tonight? She never asked...
4. Why is your father the coolest person on the planet? He's quite helpful and considerate of others.
5. Do you remember the first time you ate Guacamole dip? Yeah, my lips swelled up and hurt really bad because I'm allergic to avacadoes.
6. How many licks does it take to make Fred lick you back? If Fred ever licked me, I'd have to kill him.
7. Does a chicken ever walk into a bar? Perhaps somewhere down South.
8. What is the number one quality in a women you would choose for your father? Graciousness.
9. Does a nickle times a quarter minus a penny plus an egg equal a duck? No.
10. Who is your Hero? I don't really have one, although there are people I admire.
11. Why do children drive parents crazy? Usually because they're the ones in control.
12. When yelling daddy I want a bottle, what are you really saying? I never said that.
13. What's better than winning a hotdog eating contest? Josh, naturally.
14. What is your favorite cartoon? Zits.
15. How many times do I have to say NO? If a child can stop at the 7th "no!" it can stop at the first.
16. How many times do I have to say yes? Only once.
17. If the sky were green and the clouds were purple what color would the ocean be? Orange.
18. If Star Wars was never made what would be your favorite movie? The Patriot.
19. Do you think mommy would let me get you a cell phone? Yes.
20. How many more years do I have to live to see my children grow up? Depends how old they are.
21. How do you feel sitting on the toilet? Cold.
22. What do you think about while your brushing your teeth? About what I'm doing.
23. Do you sing in the shower? Yes.
24. How old do you have to be to work at Surf's Up? I dunno.
25. Are you crazy? Not really.
26. What do you eat at the beach? I don't.
27. Why would anyone want to live in Florida? Cause they favor death by drowning.
28. Do you like cats or dogs? Both.
29. Do you think your parents are nuts? A little.
30. Who is on the back of the bus from Mexico? Me.
31. Do you love your Daddy?(There is only one answer if your my children) Yes.
32. If you were falling from the top of a building what do you think would be going through your mind? I wish Josh was here. I wonder if I have enough time to call Josh before I hit the ground and turn into a squishy puddle.
33. What happens when we die? Our bodies stop living, and our souls go to either Heaven or Hell, but I'm not sure if that's instant or if it happens when Christ returns.
34. Where's Waldo? Who cares?
35. What ever happened to that bologna sandwich you were saving for later? Eww.
36. When will hell freeze over? When it's cold enough.
37. Why don't childer clean thier rooms? I did.
38. If I asked you to cut the grass,clean your room, take out the garbage,wash the dishes,set the table,do your homework,run the vacuum,and clean the bathroom, what would you say? I have 3 other siblings, what are they gonna do?
39. What would I say? Nadda.
40. Can I have a cookie? Yeah.
41. What is for dinner? Food.
42. How much of your day did it take to fill out this stupid survey? Not long.
43. Can I get a puppy? Yeah.
44. Why don't you listen? Cause.
45. Where do you think you'll be in ten years? With Josh.
46. What is you favorite tv show? idk
47. Can you please do your laundry? Sure.
48. Where would you like to live in the world? America
49. What do you want for your birthday? I dunno.
50. Do you want fries with that? Yeah.